The past while has been particularly awful for me, due to a combination of unbearably intense emotional/mental distress and a complete lack of hope for things improving. I know why I want to (and should) keep fighting, it’s the how that I’m stuck on.
But the one thing that I’m proud of myself for is that yesterday – in the depths of despair and suicidal ideation – I managed to recreate my wall mural compilation of photos, quotes and messages – my reasons to keep fighting through the pain and hopelessness. (a reminder of the why is never a bad thing ;))
Little Hope (kitten) was determined that she made it into this shot (for good reason), as well!
Every time it feels like I can’t carry on another second in this pain, I think of all of these people that I love, all of the inspirational people whose quotes feature here, all of the love and support that I’m lucky enough to give and receive and I do my best to let that give me the strength to fight through the pain. I don’t want to let them all down. I don’t want to let you all down.
I’m just terrified that I haven’t got it in me any more to keep fighting.