*curls up in a puffy-eyed ball of aching sadness*

You know when the final tiny bits of your desolate world disintegrate? When you final lifeline snaps? When the very last glimmer of hope fades to nothingness?

My day took an unbearable and unexpected turn earlier that has served to increase my hopelessness, confirm my self-hatred, question the only bits of me that I thought were good, and realise that I’m trapped and alone with this illness. There’s no way out that doesn’t negatively impact others.

I’ve ruined my last chance.

I can’t do this.

Trapped.

Alone.

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6 thoughts on “*curls up in a puffy-eyed ball of aching sadness*

  1. Maybe we can all hold your ‘hope’ and keep it safe for you? My therapist always says that I don’t always have to have hope and that sometimes it’s okay that she has enough hope for the both of us. So all of us who read your blogs and care a lot about you will all hold a little bit of hope for you, and you can come back and collect it. Sorry if that sounds rubbish, I just found it really helpful when she said it to me. Big hugs xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are NOT alone, and you CAN do it. It’s just that you’re inside the mist, you cannot see what lies ahead. Or those walking with you, in the same direction. I have been there before, many times. Believe me, you are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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