Laying in my PJs, Thinking

Laying in my PJs, thinking, overwhelmed, hiding, dozing, wishing time away, regretting, feeling lost, thinking some more.

I’m going to bail on the appointment with stranger stand-in care coordinator tomorrow. It’s going to leave me devoid of professional support until my psychologist gets back from leave but I think going through with it would do much more harm than good for me. It’ll be too painful, stressful and difficult. I won’t be able to make use of the time or even speak. I’ll best myself up before, during and after. I’ll be full of anguish and tears and pain. I can’t cope. I’m pathetic. I’ll seem ungrateful.

But I just can’t.

I’m sorry.

*retreats into blankets*


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