Laying in my PJs, thinking, overwhelmed, hiding, dozing, wishing time away, regretting, feeling lost, thinking some more.
I’m going to bail on the appointment with stranger stand-in care coordinator tomorrow. It’s going to leave me devoid of professional support until my psychologist gets back from leave but I think going through with it would do much more harm than good for me. It’ll be too painful, stressful and difficult. I won’t be able to make use of the time or even speak. I’ll best myself up before, during and after. I’ll be full of anguish and tears and pain. I can’t cope. I’m pathetic. I’ll seem ungrateful.
But I just can’t.
*retreats into blankets*