Why am I still here?
Why do I continue to face days and nights of nothing but endless pain?
Why do I fight so hard to do the simplest of things (getting up, sitting upright, getting a drink, getting dressed)?
Why do I lay myself emotionally bare to professionals, terrified that I will only get further hurt?
Why do I constantly let everyone down with my lack of progress, wasting their time and energy?
Why do I allow myself to be such a nuisance and burden?
Why do I put up with the crippling guilt that comes with any contact with humans, any mention of myself/my feelings/my needs, any kind of acceptance of help?
Why do I deal with so much just to keep breathing?
Why is there nothing for me other than simply existing in this pain?
Why do I allow myself to cause so much worry, stress and pain in all those around me?
Why am I still alive?