Why am I still here?

Why do I continue to face days and nights of nothing but endless pain?

Why do I fight so hard to do the simplest of things (getting up, sitting upright, getting a drink, getting dressed)?

Why do I lay myself emotionally bare to professionals, terrified that I will only get further hurt?

Why do I constantly let everyone down with my lack of progress, wasting their time and energy?

Why do I allow myself to be such a nuisance and burden?

Why do I put up with the crippling guilt that comes with any contact with humans, any mention of myself/my feelings/my needs, any kind of acceptance of help?

Why do I deal with so much just to keep breathing?

Why is there nothing for me other than simply existing in this pain?

Why do I allow myself to cause so much worry, stress and pain in all those around me?

Why am I still alive?




One thought on “Why?

  1. Because you are a fighter.
    Because it is worth fighting through and for.
    Because you are an amazingly kind and helpful person.
    Because you have a fantastic future ahead of you.
    Because you want to get better.
    Because you will get better.
    Because you are not a burden to those of us that love you.
    Because you know you need the help of the professional around you and they all want to help you.
    Because we are so proud of you and love you so much.
    Because you are you.

    Liked by 1 person

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