Relationally-oriented Integrated Psychotherapy

I have to admit, upon reading those words today, for a moment I suspected my psychotherapist might have been making it up. But no, it’s a thing! And not just a thing, but actually a good-sounding thing. Amazingly, I’m being offered 60 sessions of this therapy, weekly, realistically taking us over 18 months of work together…starting tomorrow. Whilst overwhelmingly grateful, I’m also completely terrified about the painful things that I will have to explore; I’m told that initial months of this therapy can be like scraping off scabs and scrubbing them clean with saltwater. It’s also expected that there will be an enormous flood of all the things I’ve not allowed myself to feel over the past nearly-24 years, as well as the emotional development that couldn’t happen during adolescence, on top of who knows what. 

All at the most horrifically triggering time of year when I’m already flooded with flashbacks and waking up sobbing each night…and that’s from the most recent and most horrific 2 years of my life that we didn’t have time to get to in our 7 session assessment, so the therapist has only a vague awareness of. 

Time to take an enormous leap of faith and hope I’ll be caught…

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