A Bizarre Christmas Eve

*Trigger Warning – Self Harm*

10 human stitches

5 hours in A&E

4 family visitors

3 hugs from a psych liaison nurse

2 bags of donated presents

And maybe a blood transfusion soon.

Merry Christmas! 😂

32 thoughts on “A Bizarre Christmas Eve

  1. You’re a fucking disgrace. An entire ‘placement’ built around your oh so special needs and you still, continuously seek attention. Then deny the fact with your ‘worthlessness’. You’re sickening. I bet my comment will be the next catalyst for your next, entirely predictable ‘attempt’, grow up,

    Having another SU in your oh so special placement doesn’t give you the right to up the odds. Advertising your visits to A&E is sickening, stop playning the ‘poor me’ card.

    keep manipulating, enjoy your Christmas and please refrain from the woe is me, emoticon laden tweets.

    Say hi to your mum, I have her on Facebook, she seems nice.


    1. I will link my mum in to see this as you’ve asked for me to pass on greetings – she might as well be privy to the whole thing.

      You have a right to express these feelings, although that does come with some implicit assumptions around the appropriateness and intent of what is said that I wish were considered a bit mote.

      I am also concerned, on her behalf, of you speaking up for the other SU and dragging her into this in your own vendetta…she is norhing to do with whatever issue you have with me

      My easy answer for you would be: please stop following me (and I know o have suggested/requested this before, across all platforms). You obviously hate me and what I write and all you do is make me more anxious about putting stuff out there – especially when your totally anonymous name means it could be coming from anywhere at any time and hard to block.

      Have a good Christmas… be kind!!!.


    2. What the fuck! How bloody dare you – you have not a clue of the torment that she goes through every day. How about, instead of being such an asshole and abusing Molly, you be as honest as her and identify yourself. Anonymous vindictive comments are the worst, lowest grade trolling imaginable. Let me know who you are so I can block you on Facebook – how dare you comment about how you think I am nice, you cowardly piece of shit!
      Molly, please ignore this worthless troll – I hope you know that most of the world do not see you in this way and love you for your honesty and openness about what you are going through.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. I have to agree with the person who wrote this comment. It sounds from what you are continually writing that you are feeding off the attention you are constantly given. Each time you are further indulged you respond by keep self harming and are caught in a perpetual cycle. Please read your own post back and see what it looks like to the reader. It looks like a shopping list of all the self harm methods you need to attain to elicit the right attention/response. Even if all the attention is bestowed upon you with virtual snuggle blankets, health professionals calling you ‘poppet’ being infantalisised over and over you are never satisfied. You remind me of one of those. ‘adult babies’. No wonder mental health services are in such a mess with people like you continually draining
      resources. Even with your ‘special placement’ your still not satisfied. Most people get no support. Your never satisfied. Your clearly not unwell as you can manage to tweet/write prolifically.

      Grow up. You big adult baby! Say ‘hi’ to your mum for me on facebook


    4. For some reason I have a strange feeling you may be some form of professional who knows Molly (and her diagnosis etc)… given the usual and unique content of some of your messages…

      Well you’re certainly not an IT professional anyway (or intelligent for that matter), otherwise you would know IP addresses can be pin pointed to a specific home address if reported as abuse to the police (which is what this is!).

      You clearly have a very poor understanding of BPD – so shame on you… disgrace… go & grab a book on it and educate yourself.

      I am sure the staff are working very hard to support Molly and vindictive, bullying messages like this towards a YOUNG VULNERABLE PERSON and likely to be incredibly unhelpful with that !

      Liked by 1 person

    Fortunately, my Facebook is pretty well locked down and there is only one person in my friend list who I don’t actually know or have met in person. So only one person who would make such a comment.
    Now be brave and own up – or I will out you publicly. Considering your position, imagine how damaging that will be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ignore the trolls Molly. I believe you are amazing, to still be here despite the absolute trauma you face daily is incredible.
    Sharing your accounts of mental illness is so helpful for others, you are always open and happy to advise when you feel able and that is priceless. You make others feel less alone, your support group on FB is one of the best I’m part of. You deserve this placement, you deserve to live, and you deserve the support you need in order to do that.
    Keep fighting Molly; your story isn’t over yet. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Molly

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. You deserve much kindness and happiness.

    I’ve followed you for a number of years now and have one of your original cartoons on my wall.

    Please take care and ignore the trolll.

    With love Gilly XX

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Whoever you two are, you’re disgusting having a go at someone vulnerable at Christmas.
    If you have an issue with her raise it like adults. Don’t troll anonymously online like particularly immature and nasty 13 year olds.
    I don’t think the – stretched, as pointed out – NHS is in the habit of giving care people don’t need. The ‘attention-seeking’ thing is very nasty and people really don’t self-harm for fun.
    Ignore the trolls Molly, have a lovely day or as good as possible.
    Merry Christmas everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello all.
    I like to think I’m one of Molly’s close friends…I say like to think because I’m not Molly and can imagine that actually I can be quite a nuisance. Why is this relevant? Well because I’m humbled to even be part of Molly’s life and I’m honoured to be considered a friend which makes me particularly protective. I’ve spent a while thinking this message through, what to say in response to such a vile, inconsiderate and downright dangerous message which I hope stems from ignorance as opposed to malice. Because at least ignorance suggests that you don’t fully understand the consequences that such a message can have, particularly as it’s all lies.

    I have seen Molly fight demons each and every moment of the day just so she can make it to the next moment. All the while putting herself aside for those of us she believes greater than herself while her brain blinds her to the fact that I’m doing so she is so much greater than many of these people, including me (and I’m not afraid to admit that). Whilst battling so much she continually provides a support network for others suffering with mental illness and educates those of us without so we may better understand how to help, how to act and most importantly how lucky we are to feel. No one who is self obsessed or attention seeking could possibly even think about any of these things.

    The irony of all of this is that the one person, or multiple who have now commented in the vain of Molly being selfish and attention seeking, is in fact that. To write such horrible words on a day where, whether religious or not, people come together out of love and peace to share moments and make memories, to be happy, well to write what you did takes a particularly horrible form of selfishness and likely stems from wanting attention. I can assure you that Molly only ever wants to blend in, never wanting the spot light to be on her. She will continually work behind the scenes to make sure none of us feel the blackness and numbness of depression. I can only hope that those immediately around her and her herself have managed to keep her safe so that she can continue her amazing work but also because life without Molly as a friend is unimaginable.

    I pity the fact that you clearly don’t know her well enough to understand but I wish that you never do, because you definitely do not deserve her! Now leave her alone and if I read any more messages from you then be warned. I may not have many talents but standing up from my friends, especially one so vulnerable but brilliant, is one of my better ones.

    Thank you to all those who have stood together against these horrible messages and stood up for Molly! I wish you all a merry Christmas xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Molly, I’ve followed you for quite a while now on Twitter and I have nothing but admiration for you! To not only fight your demons on a daily basis, blog or tweet about what’s going on in your life and deal with nasty trolls takes a great deal of courage and strength. You have an amazing ability to tell things as they are wether good or bad which many fellow suffers not only can relate to but also gain inspiration from. Keep fighting Molly xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The trouble is that when you blog about very personal things you open yourself to attack, and that’s what seems to be going on here. I have my own fights with my own mental health and as a qualified and award winning advocate I work damn hard to promote more positive language and destigmatising thoughts regarding mental health and disclosure. Molly does post potentially triggering posts but she does warn of this. I question however, the level of support she has in her placement seeing as it is apparently staffed 24 hours, yet she has had a few trips to A and E since she went to her new home. Having been left for 2 years after a relapse with no support I also have a good understanding of what is helpful and what is not working, and something is missing for Molly here. There really isn’t any need to insult her. I can’t condone that. Whatever you feel about the posts, as an adult you have a choice to read it or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you for the supportive comments, both Molly and I really appreciate it. Nell, you are amazing and what you have said about Molly being so selfless resonates so much truth. I had been composing an explanation in my head but now no need to, you have said it all – bless you. Just to say, nobody who knows Molly and sees what she is going through could ever say she is attention seeking – far from it. Her actions are all about protecting everyone.
    And as for a drain on resources, let’s not forget that she is this poorly because services failed her for 15 years before she got any help – and dramatically so in the fast few!
    Mr & Mrs Jane & John Doe, (And that’s what I suspect you are – a couple, or connected in some way), learn from Molly, she openly blogs about her illness to help lose the stigma for others – whereas you hide behind anonymity. John Doe, the little touch about saying hi to me I suspect was to try to throw me off the scent, as you know I’ve worked out who you are Jane Doe – and if I am right, shame on you – massive shame on you, you should know better.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Gosh Molly really is up for a sainthood. It’s bloody hard cos there’s a polar view. Put yourself out there potentially opening up to love n hate. I’m pretty sick of you. Frankly I wish you’d just shuffle off. Darwins theory. Lock your account and keep the haters out. Another year of you whining. I will now be blocking. So sick of you not trying with the best help. You’ve got bloody bpd not even a serious mental illness. Schizoaffective n anorexia try having those. Yeah all come for me, all the enablers. Mother Molly will continue to hurt everyone. I’m not one of the ‘Does’ just bored of this nonsense


    1. BPD is damn well serious enough, please don’t dismiss suffering that you haven’t personally experienced. And for crying out loud don’t tell anyone, especially not mentally ill people to ‘shuffle off’, as you so delightfully put it – that’s awful.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Then fuck off and stop following her – nobody forces you to read her blog, which is set up to help others destigmatise mental health.
      Assholes like you make that worse and make people even more scared of being open.


  11. In terms of my treatment, diagnoses or the help available to you: none of you know details of that. I actually do not have BPD however I will not engage in any discussion that denigrates another illness. The placement I am at involves positive risk taking and working behind the roots of what causes self harm/suicidal behaviours and, as such, they will continue (and I will continue to need medical intervention) although hopefully gradually minimise whilst that is worked on…in my personal opinion, that is much more sustainable and makes more sense than the behaviour stopping but the roots of it causing the build up of thoughts and emotions that then fester and remain, coming out in another way. My therapy (which is not one of the more common ones) and my work with the Community Mental Health Team are based on these same principles and program. This involves a LOT of psychological work; work that I am constantly assessed to be engaging in very well, above the levels expected, and making good progress. I say this not for my own benefit or wanting that to be recognised but because I am terrified that people think that you can tell at a glance, knowing nothing about diagnoses/care plans/treatments/resources, whether that person is making good use of what is available or is deserving of it…and in that you are making incredibly dangerous and detrimental assumptions and judgements.

    Why was any of this necessary? If you don’t like something, don’t read it. If you don’t like someone, don’t interact with them and block them. No ‘if’ here, simply DON’T JUDGE.

    Be kind, people. And pause before posting. Surely if you’re passionate enough to make such a lengthy and involved comment, you care enough to take a moment and look at WHY you are deciding to say these things and what impact they might have.

    Those of you wanting attention have got it. But please don’t do this to anyone else. Please show that humanity and empathy that I believe lurks in everyone to at least say nothing to someone who may be hurt considerably by your words. We all have a responsibility for what we put out there and what we open ourselves to receive: that not only includes me in terms of the words I share, but also in the words I open myself to receive BUT it also includes every one of you for the words you share, no matter what you believe a person has opened themselves up to (I hope that would mean that you care about what impact your words have and whether they are driven by malice, judgement or hatred), and it means that you don’t get to send those words out to those who haven’t invited it: please don’t involve families, friends or other ‘SUs’ who haven’t had a say in any of this…they are kept anonymous by me for that reason. Equally that is why I don’t identify my placement, my mental health Trust, my treatment program or anything along those lines. So please don’t assume or comment on things you aren’t privy to and please respect that you aren’t privy to it.

    Anyway, I’m bored of my own words and bloody exhausted now…
    I will end by thanking those who have been so kind and by asking once again of everyone that, if nothing else, can you please just try to BE KIND.

    Molly x


  12. Oh very good. Slow hand clap. Ok Mother Molly do what you gotta do until your next A&E alert.

    Maybe just try and work with all your resources. Instead of the entitled middle finger cos you’re depressed. Couple of months without emergency treatment. Ok.

    You’re very eloquent and you can argue your corner. Your carers worry about you dying. Maybe try a bit harder. You’re hardly in a slum, homeless with no care. Drug addicted, your child taken from you. Crack on Mother Molly


  13. Darling Molly, you are the bravest person I know. And something which makes you that bit more special is your willingness to share your experiences to help others. Keep doing what you are doing. We are on this journey with you – you’re not alone, in the awful parts and the less awful parts. You are an inspiration and just make sure you listen to people who add to your life in a good way, and ignore those who just aren’t worth it. Xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Its really easy to say someone “should” be able to do something. If everything was as easy as saying it then the world would be a very different place.
    I’ve just been told that I “should” be able to control my emotions but with the conditions I do its not that easy. It might just be me but I spend a hell of a lot of time fighting with the fact that I “should” be able to be like everyone else and I’m not. Its like telling a dolphin that they live underwater and look similar to a fish so they “should” be able to breathe underwater like the fish does. It’s easy to tell the dolphin that but if the dolphin tries too hard they’ll end up drowning.
    Trolls say that Molly should “grow up”, I’d say the trolls should shut up but its never that easy is it? If I was wishing Molly could do something, I’d wish she could really see the impact she has on other people with mental health conditions. I’d wish she could see how much she has helped me, I’m a total stranger to her but thanks to her posts I feel a lot less alone with my mental health than I once did. I’d hope that seeing the difference she makes would help her with her own mental health. Sadly, its never going to be as easy as saying “Molly you should be able to see how amazing you are” because if it was… None of us would be here would we?

    Molly, I doubt you’ll ever truly know exactly how many people you help or how you help them but I do believe you make a difference far beyond what you see or know. Thank you. I’m not brave enough to put my name to this, but please know that this is one anonymous writer who greatly appreciates you and all you do with your blog.
    I’m truly sorry you’ve had to read such vile comments as those above, especially at this time of year. I sincerely hope those vile comments haven’t caused the damage I fear and I’m disgusted that the authors will actually have wanted to cause that damage…
    I hope you’ve managed to enjoy at least some of your Christmas and thank you again for all you do

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Those of you still commenting with nasty selfish words, whilst I pity you for your ignorance think you really need to think before speaking. We cannot control what people say or think, indeed I do not agree with societies which do control our every whim and emotion. However, with the ability to speak freely I would very strongly say that we ALL have a responsibility to assess where and when as well as how we put our opinions forward. Social media is a wonderful thing when used properly and others are respected. Say what you like behind closed doors where you have no chance of severely hurting anyone. But trolling like this isn’t just dangerous for those on the recieving end, poorly or not. It can result quite seriously in the death of the vulnerable – no one knows what hides behind a smile of a stranger on the bus, just like no one knows what actually lies under a cast on an arm or leg; but equally no one knows who sits behind a keyboard. That, I believe, is why online bullying now has hefty fines and punishments in the name of the law.

    Molly does not deserve the slander that she is getting, nor does she have to waste her depleted energy on scum who can’t leave well alone. And yes you could call me a hypocrite…am I not voicing opinions without knowing you. Well I know that you haven’t had the decency to tell us who you are let alone thought to keep your vile diatribe to yourself where it can’t do any damage – I’ve told you who I am, proudly and I will respect people’s views when they learn to respect others. Quietly leave and don’t follow Molly’s posts if you feel like that. Don’t endanger her life with nasty comments in the way you have. Because that is ultimately what your actions can achieve.

    Liked by 1 person

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