Days From Hell Approaching

Tomorrow: 11am Commissioner coming to gather evidence and talk to me to assess if they will keep funding my placement 2.30pm Meeting with CCs, placement psychologist, placement manager, senior keyworker and ODM of the company to review/assess/gather evidence ahead of funding panel Tuesday: 9.30am Funding panel that decides my future 11am Therapy, last before psychologist… Continue reading Days From Hell Approaching

“Molly isn’t here right now”

My current situation was summed up very succinctly and accurately by my clinical psychologist today: “Molly isn’t really here right now, is she? Or maybe she’s just weighed down so deep inside that neither of us can reach her?” I hate it. It’s scary not really being here. But I know it’s for a reason.… Continue reading “Molly isn’t here right now”

CONSUMED. Almost gone….. (Visual Journal)

What it can feel like to be mentally unwell: CONSUMED by the void; almost gone…………………

Bottomless pit of darkness. Blank. Not human. (Visual Journal)

What it can feel like to be mentally unwell: bottomless pit of darkness within; blank mind; confused; empty; not human.

“Please, tell me more about my own Goddamn experiences”

Well this really struck a chord; unfortunately I think it will with anyone suffering from mental illnesses, and especially those with the more stigmatized ones such as personality disorders. I genuinely couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times that mental health professionals, with confidence and certainty, tell me rather than ask me (AKA… Continue reading “Please, tell me more about my own Goddamn experiences”

Buy Me a Coffee

This is a strange one, but some people have been asking if there is any way to support me/The Doodle Chronicles. There is a scheme out there called ‘Buy Me a Coffee’ that someone recommended and this seems like a really nice way to offer support without me feeling awkward about accepting donations etc. Going… Continue reading Buy Me a Coffee

‘Compartmentalised selves’

My mental illness is complex. I get told this all the time, with varying levels of frustration. It’s one of those phrases that I don’t think usually holds much meaning (in fact I think it normally represents fear from professionals/services rather than the person in question); however, today was one of those days that I… Continue reading ‘Compartmentalised selves’

A Small Act of Kindness to Nature Has Made My Day

We normally have lots of birds and wildlife in our garden at my placement so it’s made me sad to imagine them coping in the snow and not seeing them around as usual so I scoured the house and have managed to make a box of emergency bird food up – a couple have found… Continue reading A Small Act of Kindness to Nature Has Made My Day