A Gift From an Amazing Crisis Nurse

It’s a small gesture but in this situation means more than it seems and definitely more than she realises. 

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How the Suicide Monster Takes Over 

My suicide monster is sneaky. It convinces me that my immense toxicity impacts everyone around me to such an extent that I HAVE to kill myself or face the guilt and sheer ‘wrongness’ of continuing to inflict myself on the world. It creates a cold, calculating, detached haze in order to stop the sadness or fear the teeny bit of me left might feel in case that selfishly stops me acting for the greater good of everyone. 

What it is like to not be involved in risk management, care planning or significant decisions in mental health care

Recently, the manager of my local crisis team was invited to talk to post graduate nurses working in mental health and A&E about service user involvement in care planning/risk assessments and suicide prevention. She asked if she could use my case as an example both of how badly things can go wrong in this area… Continue reading What it is like to not be involved in risk management, care planning or significant decisions in mental health care

A Humbled Thank You

I was humbled and blessed to be notified today that I have been featured in a wonderful blog post discussing the online mental health community. The whole post is well worth a read and can be found here: http://theanxietytracker.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/five-blogs-of-thanks-5th-anniversary-of_12.html?m=1 An exerpt that I’m featured in follows: “Leaders in the field This list of Twitterites range from… Continue reading A Humbled Thank You

“You’re braver than you believe, you’re stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

“You’re braver than you believe, you’re stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” 
Never have wiser words been spoken by a bear.

Pondering Friendship

A wonderful friend visited me in hospital today and we had a surprisingly philosophical discussion about the nature of friendship.  As I’ve mentioned before, a lot of my illness stems from issues with relationships and ideas about the self – my worth, my purpose, my impact on others – and this creates a strange dynamic… Continue reading Pondering Friendship