Tormented. That’s the word that my psychologist used to describe me on Friday. I was tormented to the extent that I had my eyes closed, rocking back and forth in silence, rubbing several layers of skin off of my forehead as she watched for the majority of the session. What was tormenting me was the… Continue reading Tormented

*curls up in a puffy-eyed ball of aching sadness*

You know when the final tiny bits of your desolate world disintegrate? When you final lifeline snaps? When the very last glimmer of hope fades to nothingness? My day took an unbearable and unexpected turn earlier that has served to increase my hopelessness, confirm my self-hatred, question the only bits of me that I thought… Continue reading *curls up in a puffy-eyed ball of aching sadness*

Hold On, Pain Ends

This speaks to me, and I hope that it does to anyone else who is struggling.
It’s so important that it’s worth repeating: Hold On, Pain Ends.

In the depths of illness and despair it can be impossible to believe this – I haven’t had hope for myself for a long time, but my heart desperately aches with tentative and what feels like foolish hope that this statement is true even for me.