What I woke up to this morning, snuck up by the staff while I slept:
“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.”
***TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE, NEAR DEATH, BEREAVEMENT*** Yesterday, my family were told to prepare themselves for my death and were called in to Resus to say their goodbyes. This was at my own hand. We’ve had many close calls – a stint in intensive care, 3 lots of CPR+adrenaline, 5+ admissions to high dependency… Continue reading The Day My Family Said Goodbye
***TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Ideation and Self Harm*** I wrote this the night before a very close call with death, to try to help explain to those helping me what I feel and experience – why I had to sacrifice my life. “I’m terrified at the moment that any sort of hope or progress is going… Continue reading The Monster and Me
WARNING: DISCUSSION OF THE THOUGHT PROCESSES SURROUNDING SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL IDEATION – PLEASE TAKE CARE READING ON IF YOU MIGHT BE TRIGGERED OR UPSET BY THIS As I start typing this, it’s 2am, and I’ve only just finished a 3 hour conversation with the person working the ‘waking night’ shift at my placement, who… Continue reading How Does This All Work?
I hate being poorly. I hate not being there for the people I love. I hate not being the one people feel they can turn to for support any more (even though they really can still). I hate missing weddings and birthdays and celebrations. I hate not hearing the news first hand, both good and… Continue reading Missing Loved Ones’ Lives
Unfortunately my post from last year’s Suicide Awareness Day/Week is still sadly pertinent. Source: Awareness Without Provision “This week is suicide prevention week and there’s a lot of discussion and debate about the support appropriate for those in suicidal crisis – how to prevent one killing oneself and, better, how to prevent reaching such a… Continue reading Awareness Without Provision…Still