TOXCITY LEVEL EXCEEDED

TRIGGER WARNING: overdose

Today has been a day of fighting that bastard of a monster who takes control of my head and heart. I think of him like this:

That monster convinced me that even by sitting with other patients or staff I would spread the toxicity inside me to them and even worse that I was having such a bad impact that I couldn’t even just avoid people but would have to die.

I found some tablets on leave. I grabbed them. I meant to take them to punish myself.

But that little bit of Molly somehow battled past the monster long enough for me to grab a member of staff I know and trust. And I wrote a letter explaining, handed it over, and then had a chat with her and a nurse.

The staff were lovely- truly- but I still don’t know if I did the right thing or if it was really selfish of me to not remove myself for the good of everyone else. I still couldn’t sit with my usual group of friends here after the talks and PRN.

A very sad, scared and confused Molly ūüė¶

A Day in the Life (Visual Journal) – Mental Health Awareness Week

Please Don’t Suffer in Silence: Where to Turn for Support Over the Holidays

Infographic signposting the help available at this time of year when many people find themselves feeling more alone with their struggles. 
[I made it last year, so really should update it, but thought it was worth sharing in its current form (typos & all) just in case it can help someone]

Mental Illness Makes Me Feel Like An Illusion Of A Person

Full of nothing but pain.

Fooling the world.

Undeserving of the help and kindness that real people deserve. 

Awareness Without Provision 

This week is suicide prevention week and there’s a lot of discussion and debate about the support appropriate for those in suicidal crisis – how to prevent one killing oneself and, better, how to prevent reaching such a crisis point. However, what often gets missed is the provision available to help those in need –… Continue reading Awareness Without Provision¬†

Poorly √ó Police

‚ÄčLife-threateningly poorly, call for medical help (and speak to lovely duty mental health worker over the phone, albeit from the wrong team because there was no answer from the crisis/emergency mental health team) but the only available solution was for the police to secretly be dispatched and make uninvited entry into my home. I admit… Continue reading Poorly √ó Police