Week-i-versary

So, I’ve been at my new placement a week. It kind of feels like forever in both good and bad ways…I’ve met some really lovely fellow patients who I enjoy spending time with and some nice staff who seem to genuinely care but it has also felt a little claustrophobic at times with some big… Continue reading Week-i-versary

Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time

I and the professionals around me knew that the last few days were going to be tough for me. Circumstances and the state of my mental health before, combined with the pressures and triggers over the festive period, as well as past experience led us to believe that it was going to be a tricky… Continue reading Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time

A Bizarre Christmas Eve

*Trigger Warning – Self Harm* 10 human stitches 5 hours in A&E 4 family visitors 3 hugs from a psych liaison nurse 2 bags of donated presents And maybe a blood transfusion soon. Merry Christmas! 😂

The Day My Family Said Goodbye

***TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE, NEAR DEATH, BEREAVEMENT*** Yesterday, my family were told to prepare themselves for my death and were called in to Resus to say their goodbyes. This was at my own hand. We’ve had many close calls –  a stint in intensive care, 3 lots of CPR+adrenaline,  5+ admissions to high dependency… Continue reading The Day My Family Said Goodbye

Missing Loved Ones’ Lives

I hate being poorly.  I hate not being there for the people I love.  I hate not being the one people feel they can turn to for support any more (even though they really can still).  I hate missing weddings and birthdays and celebrations.  I hate not hearing the news first hand, both good and… Continue reading Missing Loved Ones’ Lives

The Pain of ‘Days’ (re: Fathers’ Day)

Days of emotional, familial, cultural or religious importance can be painful for many; for some of those suffering with poor mental health, it can be downright unbearable. Perhaps the day serves to remind one of an absent, neglectful or abusive person; perhaps it intensifies loneliness; perhaps it triggers elements of illness such as flashbacks; perhaps… Continue reading The Pain of ‘Days’ (re: Fathers’ Day)

Healing Hugs

You know when you’re such a mess, in acute despair and so hopeless that you’re crumbling in front of your own eyes? Sometimes the only thing that helps is a good, proper healing hug from a close friend. One of those hugs that says “I love you…no matter what”. There is nothing quite like it… Continue reading Healing Hugs