Today has been a strange old day in my world. Mainly nothing ‘serious’…messing around with the staff at my placement, meeting with my care coordinators, talking to the mental health professionals here about things I’ve been working on, preparing to interview new staff with the senior recovery workers, watching Children in Need… However, a thread… Continue reading The Power of Pride and Humour
I hate being poorly. I hate not being there for the people I love. I hate not being the one people feel they can turn to for support any more (even though they really can still). I hate missing weddings and birthdays and celebrations. I hate not hearing the news first hand, both good and… Continue reading Missing Loved Ones’ Lives
TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE ATTEMPTS Today is the second anniversary of the first time I tried to kill myself; a day that almost nobody knows about (most think my first attempt was the one that led to hospital admissions 6 weeks down the line). All the horror – in its many forms – both… Continue reading Difficult Anniversaries with Mental Health Problems
These are one of those days that I’m not sure it’s possible to really ‘get’ unless you’ve been here; actually, even being here right now, I don’t get it. Today was mainly spent sat on the floor crying. Overwhelmed with paralysing fear, despair and self-hatred…only growing further as more time passed whilst I was a… Continue reading How Can I be Proud of a Day that Mainly Involved Crying on the Floor?
Anxiety shakes have been a prominent problem for me for a long time. Right now they are particularly debilitating, violently wracking my body from head to toe, showing the true physicality of mental illness. Unfortunately, right now I’m having to rely on benzodiazapines to help both with these physical symptoms and the mental distress. That… Continue reading Knee-Knocking Anxiety Shakes