A String of ‘But surely nothing else can go wrong’s…

We find what seems to be ideal Therapeutic Community/InPatient Long Term Complex Needs unit, they think I’m a perfect fit for them. We find out there would be a gap between current placement & there..a solution is found. Then logistics entirely unrelated to me make it impossible. This is already after overcoming barriers (for myself… Continue reading A String of ‘But surely nothing else can go wrong’s…

‘Compartmentalised selves’

My mental illness is complex. I get told this all the time, with varying levels of frustration. It’s one of those phrases that I don’t think usually holds much meaning (in fact I think it normally represents fear from professionals/services rather than the person in question); however, today was one of those days that I… Continue reading ‘Compartmentalised selves’

A Small Act of Kindness to Nature Has Made My Day

We normally have lots of birds and wildlife in our garden at my placement so it’s made me sad to imagine them coping in the snow and not seeing them around as usual so I scoured the house and have managed to make a box of emergency bird food up – a couple have found… Continue reading A Small Act of Kindness to Nature Has Made My Day

Small gestures can move mountains…

After the shittiest of days yesterday and the shittiest of weeks, my keyworker kept to our plan of pancakes this morning and it meant more than the world.

Angry

I think this is the first time I have ever allowed myself to feel this emotion FOR not AGAINST myself.

First time in nearly a quarter of a century.

I Choose To Live

Trigger Warning: Discussion of Suicide I choose to live. Or, I hope I do, anyway. My life, my choices, my personality, my ‘needs’ – or lack of – have up until now always been decided based on the good of others, not for me. I don’t even come in the top 10 of priorities considered… Continue reading I Choose To Live

Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time

I and the professionals around me knew that the last few days were going to be tough for me. Circumstances and the state of my mental health before, combined with the pressures and triggers over the festive period, as well as past experience led us to believe that it was going to be a tricky… Continue reading Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time