Trigger Warning: Discussion of Suicide I choose to live. Or, I hope I do, anyway. My life, my choices, my personality, my ‘needs’ – or lack of – have up until now always been decided based on the good of others, not for me. I don’t even come in the top 10 of priorities considered… Continue reading I Choose To Live
I have lazily stolen this from a comment I made on yesterday’s post that has been heavily trolled, but I am exhausted and my brain is melting as I type, so please forgive me. I just wanted to get this out there about trolling, internet sharing, and judgement then let things lie. So here are… Continue reading A Final Comment on Today’s Trolling
After a day of shut down silence, I just spoke to one of the most awesome HCAs from the ward I spent 5 months on, now working for the crisis team and still as awesome. Unlocked some emotion. Many tears (actually a good thing for me). Got me to communicate where there’s been just detached… Continue reading Relationships Matter in Mental Health
Trigger warning: discussion of suicide attempts and method A year ago today, I hung myself in intensive care, having already come very close to dying several days earlier. This week has been an horrific struggle, and I very nearly died 2 weeks ago as well. But today a recovery worker at my placement handed me… Continue reading A Year Ago Today
***TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE, NEAR DEATH, BEREAVEMENT*** Yesterday, my family were told to prepare themselves for my death and were called in to Resus to say their goodbyes. This was at my own hand. We’ve had many close calls – a stint in intensive care, 3 lots of CPR+adrenaline, 5+ admissions to high dependency… Continue reading The Day My Family Said Goodbye
***TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Ideation and Self Harm*** I wrote this the night before a very close call with death, to try to help explain to those helping me what I feel and experience – why I had to sacrifice my life. “I’m terrified at the moment that any sort of hope or progress is going… Continue reading The Monster and Me
WARNING: DISCUSSION OF THE THOUGHT PROCESSES SURROUNDING SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL IDEATION – PLEASE TAKE CARE READING ON IF YOU MIGHT BE TRIGGERED OR UPSET BY THIS As I start typing this, it’s 2am, and I’ve only just finished a 3 hour conversation with the person working the ‘waking night’ shift at my placement, who… Continue reading How Does This All Work?