Tomorrow: 11am Commissioner coming to gather evidence and talk to me to assess if they will keep funding my placement 2.30pm Meeting with CCs, placement psychologist, placement manager, senior keyworker and ODM of the company to review/assess/gather evidence ahead of funding panel Tuesday: 9.30am Funding panel that decides my future 11am Therapy, last before psychologist… Continue reading Days From Hell Approaching
My mental health team and I have been exploring my past recently, which has involved a lot of painful acknowledgement of things that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel over the years. I decided to try to represent some of this visually.
The writing isn’t always clear, so if you missed bits, it says..
Unacknowledged, inescapable trauma.
Growing up in fear.
Overflowing with guilt, fear and shame.
-Complete loss of self
-Missing important periods of self-development
Tries to cope on own…
A broken adult.
Worn out by fighting alone.
Full of self-blame.
Seeks help…finally-> traumatic abuse -> out of strength, fight, energy and trust
Finds good people.
BUT SO BROKEN. Beyond repair?
How can this wreck be re-formed into some semblance of an adult human?
Oh. My psychologist thinks PTSD from horrific treatment/very nearly ‘complete’ suicide/CPR/’neurotic tirade’ of consultant/intense Trauma over the 6 month admission in another Trust. This is on top of everything else (Mixed Personality Disorder, Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, suicidality), the very things I was in hospital for. 😢 Now I have to have more assessments. She’s… Continue reading Oh. Another diagnosis?