Monstrous Mental Illness

is a painting I did last week when really struggling; I just needed to get what I was feeling out so it is a rough, emotion-filled picture with no fore-thought or plan. It depicts the dark, overwhelming monster of mental illness feeding on despair and blocking out the colour of the world and vibrancy of life. It can feel like the very substance of ‘you’ is being sucked away, becoming more and more faint, dominated by this inexplicable darkness…yet you know that just out of reach is a colourful, textured and varied world.

A Day in the Life (Visual Journal) – Mental Health Awareness Week

CONSUMED. Almost gone….. (Visual Journal)

What it can feel like to be mentally unwell: CONSUMED by the void; almost gone…………………

Bottomless pit of darkness. Blank. Not human. (Visual Journal)

What it can feel like to be mentally unwell: bottomless pit of darkness within; blank mind; confused; empty; not human.

Drowning in Anxiety: the overwhelming, all-encompassing impact of anxiety

I’ve done my first doodle for a while: I’m struggling massively with anxiety at the moment and wanted to try to depict the way it impacts me (and others) physically as well as mentally. 

Dissolving Into a Puddle of Useless Sadness

Feeling hopeless and helpless. Useless beyond words. Darkness spreading to all that I touch; a shadow upon the world, fighting impossible internal battles to work out the least of all evils. Hating myself and my impact on those around me. Desperate for peace. 

Barely Hanging on and Losing the Fight

Barely hanging on

Only by the tiniest of threads

That thread is painful and tearing me apart

So far gone that help (asking/accepting) is just dragging others with me

Losing grip fast…and I’ve already lost it completely on multiple occasions

Losing the strength to carry on fighting and holding on even faster

Terrified

Exhausted

Confused

Overwhelmed

Mental Illness Makes Me Feel Like An Illusion Of A Person

Full of nothing but pain.

Fooling the world.

Undeserving of the help and kindness that real people deserve.