A Year Ago Today

Trigger warning: discussion of suicide attempts and method A year ago today, I hung myself in intensive care, having already come very close to dying several days earlier. This week has been an horrific struggle, and I very nearly died 2 weeks ago as well. But today a recovery worker at my placement handed me…

A Particularly Jam-Packed Day at a Placement for Complex Mental Illness

Tomorrow has become a bit of an unwieldy beast: 11am Review with Senior Recovery Worker 1.30pm House Meeting 2pm Interviewing New Staff 2pm Session with in-house OT Hoping that overnight I learn how to split myself in to 3 😂 times will be changed but that itself is panic-worthy! ALL THE STRESS in one day.

What I Woke Up To This Morning

What I woke up to this morning, snuck up by the staff while I slept:
“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.”

The Power of Pride and Humour

Today has been a strange old day in my world. Mainly nothing ‘serious’…messing around with the staff at my placement, meeting with my care coordinators, talking to the mental health professionals here about things I’ve been working on, preparing to interview new staff with the senior recovery workers, watching Children in Need… However, a thread…

What Does an Occupational Therapist do in Mental Health? A Lot More Than You Might Think…

As someone fortunate enough to be living in a placement for complex mental health needs with an in-house occupational therapist, not only was my life genuinely saved by her last week  (she is the person that got me to reveal my location and coordinated emergency help, saving my life by a hair’s breadth), I spent…

Just Bee

What my Occupational Therapist is trying to convince me to do

The Day My Family Said Goodbye

***TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE, NEAR DEATH, BEREAVEMENT*** Yesterday, my family were told to prepare themselves for my death and were called in to Resus to say their goodbyes. This was at my own hand. We’ve had many close calls –  a stint in intensive care, 3 lots of CPR+adrenaline,  5+ admissions to high dependency…

The Monster and Me

***TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Ideation and Self Harm*** I wrote this the night before a very close call with death, to try to help explain to those helping me what I feel and experience – why I had to sacrifice my life.  “I’m terrified at the moment that any sort of hope or progress is going…