So the second week begins…

I can’t believe it’s the start of my second full week at New Placement already; it’s one of those weird time vortex situations that feels both like I only arrived yesterday and have been here for months at the same time. This week I get to try out a few more things – I’ve mainly… Continue reading So the second week begins…

Is Suicide a Choice? A Survivor’s Perspective

First of all: yes, of course it is a choice. BUT…and this is an important but…a non-suicidal person pointing this out to someone in acute crisis tends to come laden with judgement, whether implicit or explicit, intended or not. It often is: “Well, it’s your choice, so just decide” “It’s your choice, so why are… Continue reading Is Suicide a Choice? A Survivor’s Perspective

The Illogical Logic of an Unreal Reality

Being extra crazy seems to have made me spectacularly busy. Which will make me spectacularly crazy as I try to hide from the people who are saying goodbye to me before I move to a long-term locked mental health unit that I need to go to a long-term locked mental health unit…the reality of which… Continue reading The Illogical Logic of an Unreal Reality

Getting Divorced + Moving House + Getting Married

I’m struggling to deal with the sadness and emotional pain ofmy upcoming move to a new placement. And I’m giving myself a hard time about that considering how much I’ve fought to get to this placement, knowing that it is what I need. Then today came along a great analogy from one of the workers… Continue reading Getting Divorced + Moving House + Getting Married

The Beginning of the End or The End of the Beginning

Here I am again, waiting for my whole world to be turned upside down. After the specialist placement that I had been waiting for for a year closed for financial reasons after just 6 months of being open, giving just 28 days notice (even though assessment with them took 3 months and any potential alternatives… Continue reading The Beginning of the End or The End of the Beginning

Inside Versus Outside; You Never Know What Hides Behind a Smile

Today, as I looked at a visual journal page I’d just finished, it struck me that less than an hour earlier I had changed my Facebook cover photo to something that looks VERY different and was taken earlier this afternoon. Never had it been more apparent that one of my earliest doodles “You Never Know… Continue reading Inside Versus Outside; You Never Know What Hides Behind a Smile

I Choose To Live

Trigger Warning: Discussion of Suicide I choose to live. Or, I hope I do, anyway. My life, my choices, my personality, my ‘needs’ – or lack of – have up until now always been decided based on the good of others, not for me. I don’t even come in the top 10 of priorities considered… Continue reading I Choose To Live