“Molly isn’t here right now”

My current situation was summed up very succinctly and accurately by my clinical psychologist today: “Molly isn’t really here right now, is she? Or maybe she’s just weighed down so deep inside that neither of us can reach her?” I hate it. It’s scary not really being here. But I know it’s for a reason.… Continue reading “Molly isn’t here right now”

‘Compartmentalised selves’

My mental illness is complex. I get told this all the time, with varying levels of frustration. It’s one of those phrases that I don’t think usually holds much meaning (in fact I think it normally represents fear from professionals/services rather than the person in question); however, today was one of those days that I… Continue reading ‘Compartmentalised selves’

Re-training a Wonky Brain

An enormous barrier to recovery for me is a complete lack of self-compassion, self-kindness and self-esteem. This week I decided it was time to try to tackle this head-on and so am working my way through ‘The Compassionate Mind Workbook’ by Chris Irons and Elaine Beaumont. As well as working through the first 3 chapters,… Continue reading Re-training a Wonky Brain


I think this is the first time I have ever allowed myself to feel this emotion FOR not AGAINST myself.

First time in nearly a quarter of a century.

Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time

I and the professionals around me knew that the last few days were going to be tough for me. Circumstances and the state of my mental health before, combined with the pressures and triggers over the festive period, as well as past experience led us to believe that it was going to be a tricky… Continue reading Letters to Myself over an Expected Tough Time

What Does an Occupational Therapist do in Mental Health? A Lot More Than You Might Think…

As someone fortunate enough to be living in a placement for complex mental health needs with an in-house occupational therapist, not only was my life genuinely saved by her last week ¬†(she is the person that got me to reveal my location and coordinated emergency help, saving my life by a hair’s breadth), I spent… Continue reading What Does an Occupational Therapist do in Mental Health? A Lot More Than You Might Think…

Just Bee

What my Occupational Therapist is trying to convince me to do